After days of not seeing or speaking to Harry, I was excited and yet nervous to see him. With him chosing not to ring me after the conviction, I wasn't sure if he was pushing me away, as a way of protecting me. I found which court room he was going to be in and stood outside the door waiting for it to be unlocked so I could make sure I could get the best position in the public gallery so I could see him.
As the legal teams, the court officials and judge came back in, I stared at the cage desperate for a glance of him. Before he came in the judge said to the public gallery "You are not permitted to turn to look at the defendent and anybody that does will be removed from the public gallery". I faced forward in compliance, however when I heard a door slam shut, I turned around as I was too desperate to see him and I didn't care if I got removed. As our eyes met, he blew a kiss at me. The kiss hit me like a train at 100mph. I felt like the room stopped, as he looked at me and blew another kiss. To be honest, I was now facing backwards completely and had completely forgotten about the judges instructions. The feelings of overwhelming love for each other, engulfed us both as we were stuck in the moment for a second, both with tears in our eyes.
The actual sentencing was a short process, incredibly short bearing in mind he was about to remove over a decade of my husbands life. The sentence was actually half what the barrister said they could have given him and listening to the judge I still believe the judge didn't believe her lies either (but then that's not what he is there for). After the sentence was delivered, the judge said "take him down" and again Harry was gone.
Someone had advised me to get the barrister to get Harry to sign a consent letter giving me permission to access all of his case files, which I did, as apparently it is very difficult to get this done through the prison and can save 3 months of wasted time. I also gave the barrister a list of phone numbers to give to Harry, obviously with mine highlighted at the top! I wasn't allowed to see Harry, so I asked the barrister to tell him I still loved him. She came back up about 15 minutes later and said 'he said, he loves you too' and she handed me his wedding ring. He had taken it off so that he didn't lose it. I gripped hold of his ring and tried to fight back the tears, as I listened to the barrister telling me that Harry would be taken back to the local prison and would be transferred to a Cat.C prison in 6-8wks time.
I later found out that Harry had been in a cell for the entire time between the verdict and sentencing and hadn't even been let out for a shower, this was days. He was dragged out of the cell at 8am on the day of the sentencing and bought straight to the court. They hadn't even given him anything to have a wash or shave with. He said he absolutely stunk after sleeping and existing in the same clothes, pants and socks that he went to court in days previous. He later apologised to me for looking such a tramp but I honestly didn't take any notice of this at the time. It was a further 3 days after sentencing that they eventually let him have a shower and gave him some clean prison clothes, as attempts to get his own clothes in were still being blocked.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!