Up to the point of the preliminary hearing, we have a copy of the indictment (charges) and the memory of my husband from his questioning by the police nearly 12 months previous. All of the work to date has been guess work on my part, trying to pull together a timeline of his life from 40 years ago.

Previous meetings with his barrister have been trying to give her the detail of his life, where he lived, employment, holidays, cars owned etc... The difficulty with the charges are that the majority of the charges are not specific 'events', it is all he did 'xyz' when the claimant was between the ages of 'x' and 'y' and sometimes these are 3 year gaps. Being so vague in the actual date or even year when the alleged event took place makes it very difficult to narrow down to disprove.

We now have 8 months until the trial and as I am 'Little Miss Control Freak and Miss Organised' I brush myself down from the trauma of the Crown Court hearing and move on.

The following day, I arrive at work to an email in my inbox from the solicitor. It is the transcript of the claimant. Although I obviously already know what she is accusing him of, the attachment symbol on the email stares back at me like a monster. I take a deep breath and open the attachment of 93 pages. The curiosity and frustration at the situation, compels me to start reading it. I remember glancing at my phone, wondering whether I should tell my husband I have it and that I am reading it but the curiosity gets the better of me, I want to know what she actually said, what she is actually accusing him of?

I will be honest and say that after the Crown Court hearing, when it all seemed to be getting so real, it was a dark moment, I did sit and think "Am I being a silly wife and do I love this man that much that I can't see the truth. Do I honestly not really know this man I have just spent the last 17 years with?" I always tried to manage whether the answer to that question was coming from my head or my heart but on no occasion has the answer from either my head or my heart been any different ... he's not a peodophile. I have witnessed him with lots of children and he wouldn't do anything like this.

Nobody was in the office so I printed it off and started to read. 10 pages in and the anger, disbelief and disgust was so intense there was no point me continuing to turn the pages, words were starting to blur into one. Rage was created by her calling him a different name on 5 occasions at the start of the interview and the police officers leading nature of questioning. Disbelief at the level of detail a 3 year old child can remember of an 'event'. Disgust at the incredible descriptive detail of a sexual nature and the fact that someone was accusing my husband of doing this to them.

I rang Harry and told him I had it and that I would bring a copy home. The rest of the day at work was a write off.

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